Bad Influence Speaks

The best influence is a bad one

868 notes

I used to wonder what about me made me “rape-able,” if I have an invisible sign that marks me. I know that’s the rape culture talking, but your mind can’t help but go to some pretty dark places. Sometimes the dark places are all you have.

After a friend of mine was assaulted, she used to fantasize about her rapist, dreaming that he was a minotaur or a Zeus-like god, her way to cope with what happened. She wanted a version in which what they had was beautiful. In my case, I just wanted him gone, and in the two years since, I had all but forgotten about it. It seems like the type of thing you would remember, but I’ve never been good at journaling, let alone starting a mental rape diary.

But then I saw his message sitting there, as simply as if he were catching up with an old friend. I looked at his easy words—“how are you?” he wrote, without even bothering to capitalize—and I hadn’t the slightest clue what etiquette was in this case. Emily Post never covered “Responding to Your Thwarted Sexual Assailant.”

I got a friend request on Facebook from the guy who tried to rape me, by Nico Lang

Reading this honestly left me speechless. (Which is another reason why we need to Speak for RAINN this month if we can—so RAINN can speak for survivors of sexual assault.)

(Source: dailydot, via hellotailor)

35,296 notes

rifa:

the-orb-weaver:

virginmara:

phantom-of-the-audi:

liquorinthefront:

PINK APPRECIATION POST.

These are a few of my favorite pictures of her. #dreamgirl

… damn.

iv had a poster hanging up of her in those pink panties in my room since I was 14

Okay - just from a semiotics/art appreciation standpoint - 

Do you notice that in her images where she is topless, she is not sexualized in the way that scantily clad women often are in photography? She looks aggressive, or like she’s just standing around doing whatever. She does NOT look submissive or “come hither”. The expression in one of these is a “fuck you” expression and sometimes the expression is playful - but aggressively so.

She is posed the way that half-naked men are posed. NOT half-naked women.

P!nk has been my role model since I was 11

(via theblueboxonbakerstreet)

189,796 notes

geekyjessica:

I gained weight when I was clinically depressed for over a year.  My attitude:  If I crawled out of that deep hole of hell with an extra 30 pounds and my life intact…FUCK IT. 

(Source: butnotquite)

35,296 notes

rifa:

the-orb-weaver:

virginmara:

phantom-of-the-audi:

liquorinthefront:

PINK APPRECIATION POST.

These are a few of my favorite pictures of her. #dreamgirl

… damn.

iv had a poster hanging up of her in those pink panties in my room since I was 14

Okay - just from a semiotics/art appreciation standpoint - 

Do you notice that in her images where she is topless, she is not sexualized in the way that scantily clad women often are in photography? She looks aggressive, or like she’s just standing around doing whatever. She does NOT look submissive or “come hither”. The expression in one of these is a “fuck you” expression and sometimes the expression is playful - but aggressively so.

She is posed the way that half-naked men are posed. NOT half-naked women.

P!nk has been my role model since I was 11

(via theblueboxonbakerstreet)

868 notes

I used to wonder what about me made me “rape-able,” if I have an invisible sign that marks me. I know that’s the rape culture talking, but your mind can’t help but go to some pretty dark places. Sometimes the dark places are all you have.

After a friend of mine was assaulted, she used to fantasize about her rapist, dreaming that he was a minotaur or a Zeus-like god, her way to cope with what happened. She wanted a version in which what they had was beautiful. In my case, I just wanted him gone, and in the two years since, I had all but forgotten about it. It seems like the type of thing you would remember, but I’ve never been good at journaling, let alone starting a mental rape diary.

But then I saw his message sitting there, as simply as if he were catching up with an old friend. I looked at his easy words—“how are you?” he wrote, without even bothering to capitalize—and I hadn’t the slightest clue what etiquette was in this case. Emily Post never covered “Responding to Your Thwarted Sexual Assailant.”

I got a friend request on Facebook from the guy who tried to rape me, by Nico Lang

Reading this honestly left me speechless. (Which is another reason why we need to Speak for RAINN this month if we can—so RAINN can speak for survivors of sexual assault.)

(Source: dailydot, via hellotailor)

15,861 notes

Anonymous asked: do you know anything about biology? the words 'male' and 'female' literally mean you have either a penis or a vagina respectively. this has nothing to do with the words woman or man. anyone with a vagina is female, regardless of gender. same with males.

carnivaloftherandom:

notaboynotagrl:

rapeculturerealities:

Ok, so… this isn’t what this blog is about but since you brought it here we’ll go ahead and go there but for anyone who decides they need to respond this will be my only word on the subject, any future asks on the subject will be ignored.

In short you are wrong.  The two sex binary is a flawed social construct that literally has no basis in reality whatsoever.  Some form if intersex characteristics happen in approximately 2% of all live births in humans.  That’s 2 out of every 100 which in a world with billions of people is a lot of people that don’t fit into either “male” or “female” and that obviously doesn’t include trans* people which makes the statistics higher.  And that also doesn’t include the people who aren’t technically intersex but also don’t fully fit the biological construct of what a male or female “should” be which is far far more people that you realize or most medical doctors willing to admit.

In our society sexing is based on 5 criteria:

  • genes - XX or XY chromosomes with variations happening for XO, XXY, and XXX
  • gonads - ovaries or testes except that people with vaginas can have testes, people with penises can have ovaries, and people can be born with both ovaries and testes
  • genitalia - a penis or a vagina except that people can be born with both and men can have vaginas and women can have penises 
  • secondary sex characteristics - in theory men are supposed to have large amounts of thick, coarse body hair, a low waist/hip ratio, broad shoulders, undeveloped breasts, and deep voices while women are supposed to have small amounts of fine, light colored, soft body hair, a high waist/hip ratio, petite shoulders, developed breasts, and high voices except that in real life it’s entirely possible for people to have combination of those characteristics or for men to have “feminine” secondary sex characteristics and women to have “masculine” secondary sex characteristics
  • hormone patterns - in theory men are supposed to be high testosterone and low estrogen and women are supposed to have high estrogen and low testosterone but in reality there is far far more variation within “each” sex than between “each” sex including women having “masculine” hormone patterns and men having “feminine” hormone patterns all without those people having any sort of “disease” or “disorder” or anything being wrong with them at all.  

Once we take into account all 5 of those criteria an actual majority of people don’t line up with either male or female in all 5 areas which means it’s not possible to classify most people along the strict binary the way people like you would like to.  So, sure, there are things in this world that qualify as technically male or technically female but the idea that there’s some sort of scientific basis for a strict binary where there are only ever two options and people are only ever male or female is laughable.  It’s utter bullshit and trying to force people into those boxes when they don’t fit does a hell of a lot more harm than good.  Nothing positive comes from that kind of bigotry while actually being willing to accept people as they are or as they choose to identify has legitimately positive outcomes in the world.  

The main source material for all of this comes from Anne Fausto-Sterling’s book Sexing the Body.  She’s got a Ph.D. in biology so I’m pretty sure she knows what she’s talking about and I’m willing to bet she knows a hell of a lot more about this stuff than you do, dear anon.  Try educating yourself instead of pretending that you’re an expert because you spent a few weeks learning the bare minimum of this material in high school at some point in your life.

this is the best post i’ve seen in a millennium

The more you know.

Filed under the more you know